- Wife: Muje lagta hai apka Rita k saath najayaz rishta hai.
Hubby: Ye tum kaise keh sakti ho?
Wife: Kal jab uske husband aye, to apki underwerr pehne huye the.
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- Recommended Dosage of VIAGRA
New Girl friend: No need,
Old G/f: 1/2 tablet,
Mistress: 1 tablet,
Wife: 2 tabs + whisky + blue film + will power + her permission.
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- Doc: Reports have got mixed up. I don't know if ur wife has AIDS or Alzheimer
Man: What shld I do?
Doc: Drop her in the middle of town, if she comes back DON'T FUCK
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- The groom stood naked in front of the mirror:
2 inches more & I'd be a king
Bride: Yes, 2 inches less & you'd be a Queen
- Recommended dosage of viagra:
New Girlfriend: No Need
Old Girlfriend: 1/2 Tablet
Mistress: 1 Tablet
Wife: 2 tabs+whisky+Porn Movie+Will Power
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- Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
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- Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
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- A man was charged with Necrophilia (having sex with a dead woman). The judge said; I havn't seen such disgusting case in 20 years. Can you give me one good reason why you did it?
Man: I can give 3 reasons.It' non of ur business, she was my wife and I didn't know she was dead as she always acted like that.
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- Pappu meets his father in red light area. Pappu: Papa aap yahan?
Father: Bus beta ab 200-300 Rs ki cheez k liye teri maa k nakhre nahi sahe jate.
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- Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
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- Man: Sex ho jaye?
Wife: No.
Man: Jewar le dunga.
Wife: No.
Man: Car le dunga.
Wife: No, No, No.
Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.
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- Letter to mom by her daughter a month after her marriage: Fine here mom, but one problem... my husband keeps on fucking me all the time... while bathing, cooking, dish washing even while washing, Ironing clothes! I'm fucked up mom... Any idea to control his urges? Sorry for the SHAKY HANDWRITING.
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- What is a man's definition of foreplay?
Half an hour of serious begging!
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- Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Should I go out and look at what I cannot fuck or....Stay home and fuck what I cannot look at....
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- A man stands nude in front of a mirror n examines himself: I wish 2 inches more & I'll b a king.
Wife sitting behind: I think 2 inches less & u'll b a queen.
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- Wife bought a new transparent Bra, wore in front of her hubby.
Hubby: Issme tum bahut sexy lag rahi ho.
Wife: Pata hai ! Salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha.
- What is the difference between cheating ur wife and cheating on the taxman?
If u get caught, the taxman still want to screw you.
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- A frustrated father's defensive reply in a sms msg to his offensive unruly son... I should have wasted u in the bathroom!
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- One lady delivered twins, surprisingly one is boy & other is dog... How is it possible?
Her hubby is a hutch user... Wherever he goes his Network follows.
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- Dentist didn't get erection on wedding night so he used finger. Wife: What's this?
Nothing honey, just a temporary filling
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- Wife n Mobile:
1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai.
2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai.
3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai.
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- Husband: I fancy kinky sex, how about I cum in ur ear?
Wife: No, I might go deaf!
Husband: I've been cumin in ur mouth 4 15yrs & u r still fuckin talking.
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- Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, "Maine apse shaadi is liye ki hai ki humare bache hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye.
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- 'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven. 'One more thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.'
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- Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?
Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.
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- Q: What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?
A: They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet.
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- Q: Why does a woman have two pair of lips?
A: One is for fighting and one is to make up.
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- Lady 2 Maid: Tu saare kaam mein bekaar hai!
Bai: Bister mein to aap se aachi hoon!
Lady: Tujhe sab ne bola kya?
Bai: Nahin, driver bol raha tha!
- A man kills a deer & cooks it but doesn't tell kids what it is.
He gives a clue: It's what mom calls me.
Boy cries out: Don't eat it. It's a fucking asshole.
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- Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde ke peeche chup jati hai.
Husband: Kya hua?
Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.
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- Son kills a butterfly.
Dad: No butter for 2 weeks.
Son kills a honeybee.
Dad: No honey for 2 weeks.
Mom kills a cockroach.
Son: Dad u tell her or should I?
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- Man: Bless me God! My son is drug addict, my daughter is a call girl, my wife is a gambler.
God: Is anything +ve in ur family?
Man: I'm HIV positive.
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- Unborn twins in the mother's stomach saw a penis.
1st Baby: Dekh Papa aa rahe hai.
2nd: Abe stupid, ye pados wale uncle hai, papa kabhi raincoat nahi pehante.
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- Rosemary divorced Mr.Lele b'coz she was sick of telling her name,"Roz Meri Lele."
Imagine her tough luck, she was re-married to Mr. Marlow
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- Husband: Jee karta hai ki tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon, tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon, tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.
Wife: Neeche kya mohalle wale ghusengey?
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- Description of prostitute, wife & girlfriend in mobile language?
First one is prepaid, second is postpaid and the last one is democard.
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- Man 2 wife on wedding night: R u sure that I'm the 1st man you have slept with?
Wife: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others.
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- Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
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- Playboy has started a special edition 4 married men. The same woman is featured every month.
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- A doc advising his patient who had a heart attack: No smoking, no drinking & hv sex only with ur wife because it is important that you avoid excitement.
- Ek bahu saari raat paraaye mard ke saath sokar aayi lekin uski saas ne kuch nahin kaha, why?
Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!!
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- What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when g/f is pregnant & panic is when both r pregnant.
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- 'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven.
'One more thing that heats up instantly & goes off in 20 seconds.'
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- It has been determined that the most often sexual position for married couples is the doggie position!
The hubby sits up and begs while the wife rolls over and plays dead!
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- Wife n Mobile:
Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai.
Dono hi naye achche lagte hai.
Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai.
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