Thodi si shararat (Funny SMS)

Chand par kaali ghata chaati to hogi,
Sitaron mein Chamak aati to hogi.
Tum lakh chupao Duniya se, magar akeley mein
tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati to Hogi.

 

Lohe ko Loha kat ta hai …
Sone Ko Sona Kat ta hai…
Jaher ko Jaher kat ta hai…
Isliye apko Kutta katega.

 

Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai.

 

Apki ’smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
Apki ’smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
COMA se jaage huye mareez ko permanently sula diya.

 

Wife: Kaash main newspaper hoti dinbar tumhare hathon me rehti.
Husband: Meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se, issi bahane har din nayi nayi toh milti.

 

Aap itraate bahut ho dil ko behlate bahut ho,
Sochte hai apko Dinner per le jaye,
Par kya kare hamara iraada badal jaata hai,
kyunki tum khate bahut ho…!!

 

Apne roop par itna ghuroor na kar,
sab 2 din ki masti hai,
Tera husn bhi tab tak qayam hai,
jab tak
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.Fair & Lovely sasti hai.

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Funny SMS For You ..........

• tere pyar mein tere baap ne mujhe pita,
  tere pyar mein tere baap ne mujhe pita,
  Tan Ki Shakti, Man Ki Shakti, BOURNVITA ....
  
  
• Gurbart,
  kanjosi,
  narazgi,
  neend,
  mobile main kharabhi,
  finger main dard,
  balance ki kami,
  ya phir koi aur waja hay sms na karney ki
  
  
• Lo aj khuda ki hikmat samjh main ayi
  Apki duniya main amad samjh main ai
  Apko duniya main bheja us ka bahana tha
  Shaitan k baad bhi to kisi ko ana tha
  
  
• Sardar 2 hotel manager:- "Jaldi chalo meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
  Manager:- "What can I do?"
  Sardar:- "Abe idiot, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."......
  
  
  
• Meaning of ABCDEFG: A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls.
  Reverse the letters GFEDCBA
  Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch Bakra Again
  
  
  
• main nain b kisi say pyar kiya tha
  .
  thora nahi bayshomar kiya tha
  .
  meri tu dunya hee badal gai
  .
  jab aus nain kaha
  .
  .
  .
  arrt=y main nain tu sirf mazak kiya tha...!!
  
  
  
• Jab deep jale aana, Jab shaam dhale aana
  Jab deep jale aana, Jab shaam dhale aana
  Address na mile to vaapis chale jaana !!!
  
  
  
• Har Karz dosti ka ada kon karega,
  Jab hum na rahe to dosti kon karega,
  Ae khuda mere dosto ko salamat rakhna,
  Warna meri shaadi mein dance kon karega ?
  
  
  
• Tum Door Sahi Majboor Sahi
  Per Yaad Tumhari Ati Hai
  Tum Saans Wahaan Per Letey Hoo
  Badboo Yahaan Tuk Ati Hai.
  Ab Chota Closeup Sirf Paanch Rupey main.
  
  
• tere pyar mein tere baap ne mujhe pita,
  tere pyar mein tere baap ne mujhe pita,
  Tan Ki Shakti, Man Ki Shakti, BOURNVITA .....

• Ek sardar BLOOD k bare me book padh raha tha.
  Wife ne pucha-kyu aaj ye padh rahe ho?
  Srdr-Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai kal mera blood test ha
  
  
• Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
  Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
  Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
  Ghanti bajainge aur bhaag jayenge!
  
  
• Laila ko Majnu ka sms nahi aya,
  Laila ne 2 din se khana nahi khaya,
  Laila marney wali hai Majnu ke pyar main,
  Aur Majnu betha hai sms free hone ke intazar main

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funny gana

kyon chalti hai pawan ?
because of evaporation

kyon jhoome hai gagan ?
because of earth's revolution

kyon machalta hai mann ?
because of excessive respiration

na tum janno na hum ?
but i just gave all the answers

kyon aati hai bahar ?
because of change in season

kyon lutata hai kaarar ?
becuase of mental tension

kyon hota hai pyaar ?
because of fatal attraction

na tum janno na hum ?
like i said these are all science phenomena

kyon gum hai har disha ?
because u have lost the sense of direction

kyon hota hai nasha ?
because of drug addiction

kyon aata hai maza?
because of food’s temptation

na tum janno na hum?
I think u r jealous from my intelligence

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Shaadi ke pehle - Shaadi ke baad

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Ha

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Reason

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

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HEIGHT OFF ALL

HEIGHT OFF ALL
Modern Heights




1. What is height of Fashion?

A. Dhoti with a zip .


************ **

2. What is height of Secrecy?

A. Offering blank visiting cards.


************ **



3. What is height of Active laziness?

A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.


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4. What is height of Craziness?

A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.


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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?

A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.


************ **

6. What is height of Stupidity?

A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

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7. What is height of Honesty?

A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.


************ **

8. What is height of Suicide?

A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.


************ **

9. What is height of De-hydration?

A. A cow giving milk powder.

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adidas

Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha.....................................?
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Answer) adidas
kaisi rahi.....

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kya

hii.....
Jo.....

Ho.... Gaya.....

Wo.... Ho.... Gaya.....

Jo.....

Hona.... Hoga....

Wo.... Hoga....

Aur .....Jo

Nahi... Hona... Hai

Wo.... Nahi.... Hoga....

Kyun....kay... Jo...

Hona.... Hai...

Wo... To...

Hoga... Hi.... Hoga....

Ab... Dekhna.... Hai....

Kay.... Kya....

Hoga.....?...

Aur....

Kya....Nahi....

Hoga....

Hone.... Ko.... To...

Kuch..... Bhi.....

Hoga....

Yahi.... Sochna.... Hai....

Kay... Kiya...

Hoga......?

Aur..... Kya... Hoga....

Agar...

Kuch..... Hoga.... To.....

Theek... Hoga....

Aur....

Nahi.... Hoga....

To.... Bhi...

Theek.... Hoga....

Theek... Hoga... To....

Kis... taarhan.. Say....

Hoga....

Aur....

Taarhan... Hi....agar...

Theek....Nahi... Hoga...

To.... Kuch..

Kaisay... Theek.... Hoga.....?...

Ab.... Aap.... Batao.... Kay...

Aage...

Kiya... Hoga?..

kisi..

aur..

ko..

tum,..bhi..bhejo,..

acchha....time pass hoga !!! Jo.....

Ho.... Gaya.....

Wo.... Ho..

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orkut

Jan 10 Insaan


ke


andar


orkut


message


padhne


ka


itna


bada


keeda


hota


hai


ki


chahe


us


pagal


stupid


fool


bewkoof


nalayak


ko


kitni


bhi


gaaliyan


pad


rahi


ho


niche


tak


padhta


zaroor


hai


Tum


door


kyon


jaate


ho


ab


apne


aap


ko


hee


le


lo


ye


pata


hote


hue


bhee


kee


is


message


mein


kuch


nahi


hai


phir


bhee


padhe


ja


rahe


ho


padh


lo


beta


padh


lo


bilkul


last


tak


padhna


ab


tum


ye


soch


rahe


ho


kee


kab


ye


bakwaas


msg


khatam


ho


aur


main


bhee


kisi


ko


yehi


msg


forward


karke


pareshan


karun


to


kar


lo


ab


tumhari


baari


hai

ENJOY

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Dashrath da Vadda Puttar "RAM"

Shri RAM letter to SITA:
Dear SITA

Main itthe raji khushi se han and hope ke tu v theek thaak hovengi,
Laxman tannu bahut yaad karda hai. Main is bandar de hath tannu chitthi
bhej reha haan, tu tension na layi main bahut jaldi tenu ravan kolochura
lavanga.
Main HUTCH da prepaid le liya hai, RAVAN nu main mobile te bhot
GAALIYAAN kadiya te SAALE ne katt ditta, Chal koi ni main aana ta hai. Taan
KUTUNGA saale KANJAR nu. Main tere naal bhi ek HUTCH ka prepaid bhej riya
si usme 1500 SMS free wali scheme ha, Tu roz mere ko SMS kari.


Accha OK
See Uuuu.

With Luv

Dashrath da Vadda Puttar "RAM"

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MATHEMATICS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman,
you must love her a lot and not try understand her at all.


MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistake

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full form of COLLEGE

Do U know the full form of COLLEGE-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally......
That’s why boys go to college regularly

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Email id's of cricketers

Email id's of cricketers

1.LAXMAN:
available@home-only.com


2.GANGULY:
nowdays@no_use.com


3.KUMBLE:
only@test_match.com


4.SACHIN:
admitted@hospital.com


5.KAIF:
good@for_nothing.com


6.SEHWAG:
consistently@out_of_form.com


7.DRAVID:
stick@crease_like_fevicol.com


8.PATHAN:
takewickets@only_with_keyna.com


9. GREG CHAPPELL
only_experiment@noresult.com


10. Munaf Patel
only_line&length@nospeed.com


11.Harbhajan Singh
no_spinpitch@nowicket.com


12. Suresh Raina
why_i_am_there@god_knows.com

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gande bacche

12/7/06 gande bacche d

gande bacche du

gande bacche dus

gande bacche dusr

gande bacche dusro

gande bacche dusron

gande bacche dusronk

gande bacche dusronki

gande bacche dusronki s

gande bacche dusronki sc

gande bacche dusronki scr

gande bacche dusronki scra

gande bacche dusronki scrap

gande bacche dusronki scrap b

gande bacche dusronki scrap bo

gande bacche dusronki scrap boo

gande bacche dusronki scrap book

gande bacche dusronki scrap book a

gande bacche dusronki scrap book ai

gande bacche dusronki scrap book ais

gande bacche dusronki scrap book aise

gande bacche dusronki scrap book aise k

gande bacche dusronki scrap book aise kha

gande bacche dusronki scrap book aise kharab

gande bacche dusronki scrap book aise kharab kar

gande bacche dusronki scrap book aise kharab karte

gande bacche dusronki scrap book aise kharab karte hai

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ENGLISH OF A DESI TEACHER

ENGLISH OF A DESI TEACHER....

In class

* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.

* Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.

* Cut an apple in two halfs- take the bigger half.

* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside

* Both of you three, get out of the class.

* Close the doors of the window.

* Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.

* Take 5 cm wire of any length.



About family

* I have two daughters both of them are girls



At the play ground

* All of you, stand in a straight circle.

* There is no wind in the balloon.



Punishment :

* You, rotate the ground four times

* You, go and under-stand the tree

* You three of you, stand together separately.

* Why you are late - say YES or NO

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A brand new love story

A brand new love story... in theatres this December

***STARRING*** :-
George W. Bush..
Condeliza Rice..
Tony Blair..
Pamela Anderson..

SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE :-
Bill Clinton..

AND INTRODUCING VILLAIN :-
Bin Laden..

MUSIC BY :-
Gen.Parvez Reshamiya

ITEM NUMBER BY :-
Monica Levinsky


KABHI AL-KHAEDA NA KEHNA....(a bomb that broke all relations!)

CASSETTES ND CD'S ONLY ON "AL-jazeera"

FEATURING ALL NEW HITS LIKE:-

'Lets go blasting tonight...

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What happens when the LION roars.....????

What happens when the LION roars.....????


.....



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......




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......





.....




ans: TOM and JERRY starts......

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Bioinformatics people start producing movies

What if Bioinformatics people start producing movies

Some Film titles may be like these :



1. BLAST To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Meri Gene Tumhare Paas Hai

3. Aao Database Search Kare

4. Bioinformatician No.1

5. Mera Naam Tool Developer

6. PERL Wale Job Le Jayenge

7. Hum Apke Genome Mein Rehte Hein

8. Do Sequence Baarah Hit

9. Tera Ligand Chal Gaya

10. Har Din Jo Modeling Karega

11. Genbank Ke Us Paar

12. Proteomics Koi Khel Nahi

13. Jish Desh Mein Day Hoff Rehta Hai

14. Raju Ban Gaya Information Officer .!

15. PDB Ek Numbari Structure Dus Numbari

16. GCG Karo Sajana

18. Naukar NCBI Ka

19. 1942 -- A KEGG Story

20. Kaho Na Docking Hai

21. Algorithm Se Program Tak

22. Haan Maine Bhi ClustalW Kiya Hai

23. GeneScan Karke Dekho

24. Alignment Apna Sequence Parayi

25. MunnaBhai Bioinformatician

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INDIAN V\S AMERICAN

Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"

And

Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"



Socho

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Thoda sur Socho

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Socho Socho....

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Nahi Aata



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B

C

o

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Indian wives call their husband "A g" sunte ho

( Scientific Symbol for Silver is A g)

American wives call their husband "A u" listen up

( Scientific Symbol for Gold is A u)

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ORKUT SE PYAAAAAR HAI

kyun aajkal homework kam orkut jyada hai
lagta fail hone ka pura-pura iraada hain
kal tha topper aaj 40 bhi jyada hain
lagta fail hone ka pura-pura iraada hain
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
o o o o o ...

agnes ki inn classes me,
boring si ek teacher hai
jabse mila hai orkut
badla har ek manzar hain
dekho jahaan mein neeli neeli iss screen tale
dost naye naye hain jaise milte hue
tu mere khwaabon mein jawaabon mein sawaalon mein
har din chura tumhen main laata hoon khayalon mein
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah ....

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titanic song

titanic song remake in orkut
Every time in my orkutI see you.
I scrap you.That is how I know you go on.
Far across the Scrap BookAnd testimonials between usYou have come to show yourself “ single”.
Near, far, wherever you areI believe that the friends list does go on
Once more you logged onAnd you're here in my scrap book
And my scrap book will go on and on
Testimonials can touch us one timeAnd last for sometime
And never let go till we're friends
Love was when I saw your friends list
One true time I hold toIn my life
I’ll surely view her/his profile
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the friends list does go on
Once more you logged onAnd you're here in my scrap book
And my scrap book will go on and onThere is some amazing profile that will notgo away
You're here, there's so much to fear,And I know that my friend will know I checked her/him
out
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my friends listAnd my friends list will go on.........

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