Adult SMS Messages Collection 3 / gande sms

 pahlay hat ma lo
phir mon mai lo
phir thook lagao
phir sidha karoo
phir sorakh ma daloo
uff..
kithna muskhil ha soi mai dagha dalna

 

I want to suck you … lick you … wanna move my tongue all over you … wanna feel you in my mouth … yep, that’s how you … eat an ice cream!

 

us ne kaha or dabao,
main dabaya,
us ne kaha or dabao,
main ne or dabaya,
us ne kaha baniyan nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya,
us ne kaha pent bhi nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya . . . �
dekha ho gya na suit case band:)

 

Aik bar karo na plz..
kisi ko pata nahi chalega..
plz karo naaa……..
muje acha lage ga…
aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri
kar do na plzz…
aik pyara sa SMS!!!

 

Let me kiss ur lips, let me feel ur teeth, let me feel ur tongue.SMILE!This is ur friend “PEPSODENT” reminding you to brush ur teeth,Twice a day Everyday

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Adult SMS Messages Collection 2 / gande sms

He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!

 

 

Ye Sookha Ander Jata Hai,
aur,Gila Bahir Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Hota Hai,
Jab Ye Ander Rehta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Thori Dair Helane Ke Bad Jab Esai Bahir Nekalo,
To Apne Kam Dikha Kar Ye,
Bejan Sa Bahir Ata Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye,
Es Ko LIPTON TEA BAG ,Kahty Hain.

 

 

A girl phoned me
the other day and said …
“Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
I went over. Nobody was home

 

Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..
cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth,
ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u “lastnite”

 

Come here, take off your pents and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving yours…..toilet!

 

 

 

Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

 

 

In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere! You Know whose that boy? Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap! Dirty people always think dirty.

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Adult SMS Messages Collection 1/ gande sms

1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs

Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay

Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain

girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched

MORAL : aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain

 

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
Books And Study

 

Musharaf Reema ka haath pakar kar bola:

“Aao kamray mein chalain”

Reema; “Ki faida, wardi tey tu lani nai”

 

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

 

Usne utari saree
fir aayi peticoat ki bari
blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….!

 

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”

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Adult Funny SMS Messages Collection

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

 

Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun

samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!

 

Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Acha wo kaise?

Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi.!!

 

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

 

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

 

Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?

Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega…

 

Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!

Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?

Boy:bilkul nahi!

Girl:to phir rehne do…

 

Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking…

 

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

 

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

boy said to girl :” see i told you to not to worry!!!!”.

 

Ye Sookha Ander Jata Hai,
aur,Gila Bahir Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Hota Hai,
Jab Ye Ander Rehta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Thori Dair Helane Ke Bad Jab Esai Bahir Nekalo,
To Apne Kam Dikha Kar Ye,
Bejan Sa Bahir Ata Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye,
Es Ko LIPTON TEA BAG ,Kahty Hain

 

Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

 

In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere! You Know whose that boy? Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap! Dirty people always think dirty.

 

pahlay hat ma lo
phir mon mai lo
phir thook lagao
phir sidha karoo
phir sorakh ma daloo
uff..
kithna muskhil ha soi mai dagha dalna

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Adult SMS

Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breasttuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches dbreats)-no sound. Girl:U haven't plugged in yet!

Nipple Nipple don't be far, can I press u in my car. Upabove the chest so high, always milky never dry. Letme suck you, don't feel shy.

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of yourbreasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let metake a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged

The sky is blue,grass is green,harder the fuck thelouder the scream,louder the scream the better thefuck,give me a ring u might be in luck

Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos shelifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2stones with the help of a crane.

A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?

Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed into your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it, because you're smiling now!!

Mean people suck, Nice people swallow! !

A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!

CONFICIUS SAY: BOY WHO GO TO SLEEP WITH STIFF PROBLEM WAKE UP WITH SOLUTION IN HAND.

Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!

Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!

Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid.u'll get laid.

Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play magic? She asks: What do you mean? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!

Love is a thing, sex is also a thing.

BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!

Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between.

I like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like your ass.

Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..

I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.

How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise?

If you want a little brother,kill your dad and fuck your mother.

Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good

Adult SMS  Sexy SMS Nonveg SMS  free SMS

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Non-Veg

Boy: Agar mein BRA hota, toh tere BOOBS se chipka rehta
Girl: Maadarchot, mein kisi aur se dabwa rahi hoti, aur tu khidki pe latka hota

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Girl: Nahi, aaj mein nahi dalwaaongi
Boy: Kyun?
Girl: Tum to daal ke so gaye, aur mein saari raat masalti rahi, pani bhi nikalta raha.....
.
.
Boy: Lagta hai, yeh EYE DROPS sahi nahi hai

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Aparna was on road with her top open and right boob hanging out. Cop stops and asks, "wat is this?"
Anita: Hai oo rabba... munna toh bus mein hi reh gaya

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Different kinds of sex in different ages
18 har waqt
28 roz raat
38 Jumerat
48 jazbaat
58 use your finger.

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Saleem ne Anarkali se kaha... "Jaanemann, tere kadmo me rakh doonga saara khajaana.
Anarkali: Abey MAADARCHOT, Maa chudaane gaya khajaana, pehle andar daal aur shuru kar bajaaana

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kab lund teri yaad mein khada nahi hota?
kab tujhe chodne ko dil majboor nahi hota?
yeh sach hai ki gaand usi ki phat ti hai
jiska kabhi koi kasur nahi hota.

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gaand maraane ke 5 faide
Dil chale,
dimag chale,
gaand choudi howe
paise ke paise mile
khulke tatti howe...

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girl: naa ched ladkiyon ko paap hoga, kal ko tu bhi kisi haseena ka baap hoga
boy: khuda kare teri baat sachi ho, jo mujhe baap kahe woh teri BACHI ho...

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Teacher: Always use CONDOM to prevent AIDS
Girl: Mam, koi aapse kahe ki rasgulle ko polethene cover mein daalke chooso, to kya aapko uska swaad aayega?

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Perfume waala: Saab Perfume lelo Perfume lelo.
Raju:1 rupaye waala dikhao.
Perfume waala:Gand mein ungli daal ke soongh le.

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Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti!!
Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha, dhobi ne kaha main khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo!

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Santa ne apni sagaai tod di kyunki ladki virgin thi.
When asked why???
Santa bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui woh meri kaise ho sakti hai.

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Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseenay nikal jaayen!
Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.

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Santa: What is the similarity between a Bank & a Bra ?
Banta: Dono ke ander Jitna MAAL Jyaada Utna Interest Jyaada.

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Jeeto: Doc saab, mujhe thode din bachcha nahinn chahiye.
Doc: Take this condoms.
Jeeto: Ye paani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath.

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Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.

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Doctor advised Santa: Dabaa ke doodh piyo.
Santa: Doodh to khoob peeta hoon per wohh dabaney nahin deti.

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Not umbrealla...

Banta’s advice: Don’t carry umbrella during Rain....keep WHISPER on ur head kyunki yeh ghanton tak geelepan ka ehsas bhi na hone de

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One boys father went to school for getting the report card of his son.
Father: Madam kab dengi aap.
Teacher: Period khatam hone tak to intezzar karo.

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Santa: Bhai Saab ek condom dena. Meine girlfriend ko gift dena hai.
Dukandar: Is par cover chada du.
Santa, arre nai yeh to cover hai gift to mere pass hai.

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Badi hasrat thi ki kholein unki salwaar ka nara,
Sanam ki berukhi dekho ki nangey hi chale aye, Wah wah wah

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Kya aap SEX karte hai,
Kya aap CONDOM use karte hain,
Kya aap AIDS se darte hai,
To aap HATH se Q nahi karte hai,
HATH chale to AIDS tale.

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What is pure Hindi name of Condom??
Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi.

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All eggs in women decided to fight against sperms. They waited with guns in the pussy. That night no one came.
Suddenly 1 shouted: Hamla Peeche se hua hai...

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Lakh hila lo, lakh daba lo, lakh utha lo, lakh bitha lo, lakh ghuma lo, lakh mana lo, lekin SUSU ki aakhri boond hamesha CHADDI mein hi giregi

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Preity Zinta & jaadu get married.
On next morning preity asks, puri raat nikal gai tum ne kcuh kia kyu nai..?
jaadu, sayz. DHUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP

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Doctor to old man: Baba Jee, Aapki nichey ki donu goliyan nikalni padengi
Oldman: Nikal do beta, jab bandooq hi nahi chal rahi to goliyan kis kaam ki

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M.F Hussain to Madhuri: Aasmaan ke chand sitaare tere shaadi pe kaise?
Madhuri: Mere chut ke baal tere daadi mein kaise???

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What is the difference between SUGARCANE and PENIS?
Ek ko dho kar chooste hain, aur doosre ko chooskar dhote hain

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Girl: Tum mujhe swimming sikhaate waqt meri panty mein haath kyun daalte ho??
Instructor: Taaki tere chut mein paani na chala jaaye

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Kumar dips his penis in water.
Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Kumar: Khada nahi hota
Wife: toh pani mein kyun duba rahe ho?
Kumar: Dekh raha hoon, kahin PUNCTURE toh nahi hain....

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2 girls returning from a movie,
1st: Mera purse chori ho gaya.
2nd: Magar tum to woh bra main rakhti thi.
1st: Mujhe kya pata tha saala chori kar raha hai.

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Yeh waqt nahin hai rone ka, Yeh waqt hai baccha hone ka.
Uss waqt kyon nahin royee thi, Jab chipak ke soyee thi.
Ab jo kiya hai woh bharo, Tab to kehti thi aur karo, aur karo........

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Teacher: kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye.
Student: jalta hua bulb
Teacher:why??
Student: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rähi thi "bulb bujha do to muh mein loongi"

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Saas aur bahu me hamesha anban kyo?
Kyonki jis ladke ki underwear saas ne 25 saal sambhali who bahu ne 2 minute me utari.

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A hawker was selling viagra tablets n anouncing:
1 goli khaega to lamba hoga,
2 khaega to to khamba hoga,
3 kha ke lega to rand bolegi abe bhadwe, chodta hai ke khodta hai.

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Arz kiya hai.. College se nikalte hi kitab sine se laga leti ho!
Hum kya mar gaye jo khud hi dabaa leti ho!!

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now girls don't use gaajar , mooli kaila or fingers, they simply put mobile in their pussy on vibrator mode and ask friends! " yaar ring maar na."

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Janeman mujhe mar dalo ..
zara meri pant ki jaab mai haath dalo...
lamba lage to kaat dalo......
mota laaga tu chaat daloo....
acha laga tu apni gand main dalo...

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Lady to man: why you always keep condom & taveez together in your wallet.
Man: bhoot aur choot ka koi pata nahi kabhi bhi mil jaye.

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Rail ki patri par mat hagaa karo,
train aayegi gaand kat jaayegi.
abhi haath se gaand dhotay ho,
baad mein gaand se haath dho baithogay!!!!!!!!!!

__________________________________________________________

Free SMS, Non-Veg, Adult

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Top 5 TV programmes:
1. Kaun marega kisi ki fuddi.
2. Kyun ki saas bhi kabhi chudi thi.
3. Chuttar faadh ke.
4. Kahani lun-lun ki....
5. Ek mahal ho mommo ka..

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Boy- Main tumhare liye chand taare tod lauga...
Girl- Chup bhosdike.... muh so moongfali nahi tuti, gaand so akhrot todne ki baat karta hai... !!!

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One Sardar Raped a Sikhni , She Said " Hunn Main Raula Paawangi " , Sardar Says " Raula tehHunn Main paawan ga Panchood Utton Sikhni tay Theloo clean Shave

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A sardar was walking on the road. Suddenly he bent down to pick something, got up &screamed
"Saale Kamine log sandaas bhi aise karte hain jaise samosa padaa ho.....!!!

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Girl comes home late. Boy: Chaand taron ko bhi neend aa rahi hai, TERI MAA KI CHUT tu ab aa rahi hai??
Girl: Maa ki chut ka naa de vaasta, kholti hu bra... karle naashta.....!!!

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Adult SMS

Bacho Ki Wajah :Suna Hia Car Mein Aage Wali Seat Per Bacho Ki Wajah se Haadse Hote Hain Aur Peche Wali Seat Per
Haadso Ki Wajah Se Bache Hote Hain So Plz Avoid Car ...

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Bacho Ki Wajah :
Suna Hia Car Mein Aage Wali Seat Per Bacho Ki Wajah se Haadse Hote Hain
Aur Peche Wali Seat Per
Haadso Ki Wajah Se Bache Hote Hain

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Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono NE kapde tyag diye,
Ek NE desh ke liye,
Doosre NE Deshwasion ke liye!

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Sardar..Papa condom kia hota hai?
Sardar’s Papa..Chal bhaag mujhay nahi pata.
Sardar..Tabhi to hum 11 bhai hain..!hehehe

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arz kiya hai jee

aahhmm ahhmm
saya kiya para pattoon(leaves)pay choot ka
loray uchal uchal kay darkhatoon par charh gaye

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Ek sawaal: Duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam kya hai?
Jawaab: Soye huye PAPPU par condom chadhaana

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Preeto: Suno ji, aaj phir billi dudh pi gayee.
jetto: Main tainu kinni vaari keha hai ki apne blouse de button band karke soya kar

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Happiness is like penis; always looks small if u hold it in ur hands but when u learn to share it, u'll realize how big & precious it is!

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A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She asked her husband but he
didn't know. Husb asked maid. Maid replied: Saab,aapko to maloom hai
mai kuchh nahi pahanti.

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Thehro tau, sadharan condom se lalach mat kar,ye biwi ki puddi aur
vikas ka mamla hai, do rupay ki chay kam pi lena magar extra ribbed
DANDA condom hi lena.

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MIRINDA condom : Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage.
MRF condom : Extra rubber, extra milage.
MOOV condom : Aah se Aaha tak.
IODEX condom : Andar tak jaye, Aaram dilaye!!

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Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi. Ek ladki ne electric office me
phone karke kaha: Light chali gayi hai.aadmi bhejo. Replied "Aadmi
nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo."

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Khawahish thi hamari ke shalwar unn ki utarein....
Sanam ki be-rukhi tou dekho..nangi hee chali aayein...

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Teacher : kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye.
Student : jalta hua bulb
Teacher : why
Student : kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rdhi thi "bulb bujha do

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